


steel your heart, the dawn will come

by littlelamplight, SupergaySupercat (octoplods)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, dragon age: inquisition AU, minor majorly judging you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 00:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12593620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamplight/pseuds/littlelamplight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/octoplods/pseuds/SupergaySupercat
Summary: At a ball filled with assassins and political machinations, and with a war to end, all Alex can think about is how much she wants to dance with Astra.A Dragon Age: Inquisition au





	steel your heart, the dawn will come

**Author's Note:**

> so instead of trying to follow the whole game i picked a quest and built the story around that. i've tried to keep it as friendly to people who haven't played the game as i can, i think? so hopefully that works. also for those familiar with the game, i haven't substituted the supergirl characters for the ones in the game, just added them in.
> 
> for people that havent played the game, a few notes: 
> 
> \- Astra is a dalish elf, which means she's spent her life wandering around with her clan. dalish elves have tattoos called 'vallaslin', which they get when they're around 18 to honour one of their gods. 
> 
> \- mages are feared by most and hated by many, and for those that aren't among the dalish, they're taken from their families when they're young and placed in circle towers, which most of them never leave. they're guarded by templars, who have the ability to suppress magic. lots of mages suffer some kind of abuse in those towers.
> 
> \- a year before the game starts, the mage circles rebelled, and the templars left the 'Chantry' (church equivalent) to hunt them, so there's been a war
> 
> \- the game begins with 'the Breach' appearing in the sky, a rift to the world of demons, known as the Fade, which is where magic comes from. the Breach appears after an explosion at the Conclave, which was an attempt by the head of the church equivalent to bring peace between mages and templars. the Inquisitor (here comes the general) is the only survivor, and emerges with a mark on her hand capable of closing other rifts that appear after the Breach. 
> 
> obvious spoilers for the game plot itself

 

 

As a mercenary, Alex has had her share of rough awakenings, but waking up to Lucy patting her cheek repeatedly has to be one of the most annoying so far. 

 

She groans, flinging her arm over her face, and Lucy barely manages to avoid the half hearted swing. ‘Go ‘way’. 

 

Lucy reaches out to smack her elbow, and mumbles, ‘we’ve lost her again’. 

 

Alex looks up, rubbing at her eyes, and grunts, ‘what?’ 

 

‘The Inquisitor. You know, the woman we’ve all rallied behind? The leader of the Inquisition?’ 

 

Alex scowls at her. ‘I know  _ who  _ you mean, Luce. But what do you mean we’ve lost her?’

 

‘You know she’s sometimes prone to wandering off'. Lucy crawls into the tent to flop down on her bedroll, and props herself up on her elbow, giving her an expectant look. 'She’s done it again’. 

 

Alex groans, pressing her face to her pillow, trying to ignore the prickle of concern in her stomach. ‘Why’re you asking me to go look for her?’

 

‘Well, I’d ask Alura. But she’s asleep, and she’s sharing a tent with Lara and Lillian, and you know how I feel about Lara’. 

 

Alex snorts. ‘You’re scared of her’. 

 

Lucy grumbles. ‘Listen, I like her, but that habit she has of just… appearing out of nowhere isn’t good for my nerves’. 

 

‘You just don’t want to wake Alura up’. 

 

It’s Lucy’s turn to bury her face in her pillow, and Alex grins at the confirmation that Lucy is still a little tipsy. ‘She’s just… so gorgeous, Alex’. 

 

‘Uhuh’. 

 

‘Have you seen her arms?’ She sighs dreamily, turning her head to look at her, her hair splayed over her face, and mumbles, ‘do you know how strong she’d have to be to pull that longbow?’

 

Alex thinks of Astra, and the way the muscles in her arms flex when she wields her staff, and replies absently. ‘I suppose you’re going to tell me’. 

 

Lucy pushes herself up, leans close, and says, ‘so strong’. She blinks, staring at Alex’s face, and narrows her eyes. ‘If I’m hungover tomorrow, I’m blaming you’. 

 

Alex snorts. ‘I warned you, you know. Challenging me to a drinking competition never ends well’. 

 

Lucy flops down into her sleeping roll again, and mutters, ‘you might’ve told me that J’onn raised you. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known you learned to drink from a Qunari’.

 

‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing’. Alex pats Lucy’s shoulder, smiling apologetically. ‘You sleep. I’ll go find Astra’. 

 

Lucy gives her a grateful smile, rolling over and drawing the covers over her shoulder. She looks tiny, curled up like that, and Alex shakes her head with a smile, pulling on her coat and boots quickly. 

 

Afterall, as reluctant as she is to leave her bed, there are worse things than going to look for Astra. 

 

* * *

 

Alex has tracked harder things than an elf, but still, she has to stoop low to see where Astra has left a trail in the dark. The woman is light footed, unsurprising for an elf raised in the wilderness, but she manages, until the tracks seem to stop dead at the base of a tree. 

 

Alex frowns, bending to inspect them, and Astra’s voice sounds from above her. ‘Looking for me?’ 

 

Alex leaps up, her heart slamming against her ribs, her daggers drawn and in her hands before she can really register it, and shouts, ‘Maker, Astra, are you trying to kill me?!’

 

Astra only smiles, sly and amused, swinging her leg back and forth in the empty space, perched in the tree with her staff resting loosely over her knees. ‘If I did, you’d be dead’. 

 

Alex breathes out a slow, trembling breath, and sheathes her daggers. ‘That’s probably true. Though I’d hope you’d never consider it’. 

 

Astra’s smile sharpens, the blade attached to the end of her staff glinting like her eyes, and she drops down to land lightly in front of her. ‘I’m shocked that you have to ask’. 

 

And here Alex finds herself faced with the real reason she would’ve preferred it if someone else had gone to find Astra. It’s not that she doesn’t like the woman. It’s that she likes her  _ too _ much, and everyone except Astra seems to know that.

 

And that casual, easy confidence that she first saw in the woman all those weeks ago seems to have returned now that they’re alone. 

 

She’d heard a lot of things about the so called Herald of Andraste before she and her mercenary company joined up. An elf mage who was apparently sent by her clan to keep track of proceedings at the Conclave, to spy, and that probably should’ve told her that the woman wasn’t going to be anything like what she was expecting. 

 

For starters, every mage she’s ever known fights from the back. Ranged attacks are what they’re best at, and fighting in the middle of everything tends to just put them in greater danger. 

 

Her first impression of Astra was of fire streaming from her fingers, of lightning curling around her staff, of the woman who hurled herself right into the middle of a fight, and punched a man in the chest with a fist encased in ice. 

 

Things have changed a little since that first meeting. Alex has come to expect that if a back presses up against her’s during a fight, it’s probably Astra’s, and she’s learned that Astra’s fighting style, however unorthodox, is devastatingly effective. Astra herself is less… reckless, than she was, spending more time talking to Cassandra about tactics, learning how humans were taught to fight, so as to better counter them, conversations which frequently occur while the two of them are sparing, and it occurs to Alex that this is the first time Astra has wandered off since the attack on Haven. 

 

She wonders if that’s a sign that something is wrong. 

 

A scuffling sound snaps her back to reality, and Astra drops from the tree to land nimbly beside her. She tilts her head, and says, ‘did my sister send you?’

 

‘No. She’s sleeping. Lucy noticed, actually’. 

 

Astra raises her eyebrows. ‘And here I thought I’d slipped away without anyone noticing’. She sighs, running her fingers over the grooves in her staff, and murmurs, ‘I suppose I should follow you back, then. I’d prefer not to worry Alura’. 

 

Alex finds herself shrugging. ‘If you wanted some peace, everyone back at camp is pretty much asleep by now. Though you’ll have to put up with Bull’s snoring’. 

 

Astra smiles. It’s a little more reserved than her smiles used to be, but considering what they’ve seen and been through since this all started, it’s not really surprising. 

 

It still saddens her. 

 

Astra is always beautiful, but she misses those easy, quick, almost cocky smiles from the early days, when they didn’t really knew each other, before they learned what they were truly facing. 

 

‘Do I have something on my face?’

 

Alex blinks. ‘What?’

 

‘You’re staring’. Astra doesn’t sound accusing, just oddly self conscious, and she lifts her hand to touch her own cheek. ‘Is there something on my face?’

 

Her mind races to come up with some excuse for staring so openly, and says quickly, ‘I… just realised I don’t know which of your gods your tattoos represent’. 

 

‘Oh!’ Astra smiles at her, and oddly, it seems more relaxed. Alex wonders if it’s because it’s about her people, if it’s because this is something that’s easy for her, that’s part of her, not something that involves the fate of the world resting on her shoulders. Astra steps towards her, and touches her arm lightly. ‘I can tell you when we get back, if you like’. 

 

Alex smiles, and sweeps her arm out back towards camp. ‘After you, Lady Herald’. 

 

Astra makes a displeased sound, and taps Alex’s ankle with her staff as she walks past her, almost tripping her up. ‘It’s Astra, Alex. Just Astra’. 

 

Alex sniggers, happy to see the old playfulness return, and says, ‘alright,  _ just _ Astra’. 

 

Astra flicks her fingers over her shoulder at her, and Alex yelps as a root winds around her foot, and sends her sprawling. 

 

The embarrassment is worth it, though, for the sound of Astra’s laughter. 

 

* * *

 

‘So, Elgar’nan is the god of vengeance? And Mythal is the goddess of justice?’

 

Astra nods, passing her the wine, and Alex knows that the alcohol is affecting her when she finds herself hyper aware of the brush of the woman’s fingers against her own. ‘Among other things, but yes’. 

 

‘I take it it wasn’t a coincidence that you have Elgar’nan’s tattoos, and Alura has Mythal’s?’

 

The woman smiles, shaking her head slightly, tucking a stray curl behind her pointed ear absently. ‘They were counterpoints to each other, just as we are. It seemed fitting’. 

 

Alex smiles into her glass, thinking about how when the other woman does smile these days, it’s usually around her sister, and her niece. She rests her elbows on her knees, leaning forward to try and catch Astra’s eye, and murmurs quietly, ‘so, are you goign to tell me why you wandered off? You haven’t done that in a while’. 

 

Astra sighs. She props her staff against her shoulder, and leans forward to mirror her, staring into the fire. The orange light flickers over her face, softening the tattoos curling over the sharp angles of her face. ‘I have barely had a moment to myself since this all began. I simply wished… to take in the peace, before we arrive. Josephine has made it clear that every move I make will be watched’.

 

Alex tears her gaze away from Astra’s face, and fiddles absently with the ties on her boots. ‘I can leave you alone, if you want some space’. 

 

Astra reaches out to touch her knee, light and quick, and says, ‘your company is not an annoyance, Alex. Stay, if you wish’. 

 

Alex hesitates. She doesn’t want to intrude, but she likes Astra’s company, and the woman’s offer seems sincere. She shifts a little closer, so that their knees press together, and says, ‘we’ve still got some time, before dawn, you know. Tomorrow… it’ll be hard, but… we’ll get through it’.

 

Astra sighs heavily, leaning their shoulders together, and she feels heavy pressed against her, like she’s dozing off. ‘And as you say, we have some time’. 

 

Maybe it’s the buzz of the alcohol, or the heat of the fire on her face, or maybe it’s just Astra herself, but Alex finds that she quite likes the idea of spending the last few hours before the ball with the woman leaning against her shoulder, even as conversation dies down between them. 

 

There’s still time for this, in war.

 

* * *

 

Alex fiddles with the gleaming clasps at the front of her jacket, grumbling under her breath at the tight fit of the new, unyielding leather. It feels constraining and uncomfortable, and she really wishes she could just slip back into her normal gear right now. 

 

‘Don’t like your new coat?’ 

 

Lucy, by comparison, seems completely at ease in her formal wear, and Alex mutters, ‘well, yours looks good’. 

 

Lucy scoffs. ‘We’re wearing identical outfits, Alex’ .

 

‘Yeah, but yours doesn’t look so constraining’. 

 

Lucy laughs, the gold pattern of the inquisition’s insignia throwing light up into her eyes. ‘I’m from a noble family, Alex, remember? Just got a bit more practise than you’. 

 

Alex grumbles, folding her arms over her chest and trying not to scowl when the leather tightens around her ribs. ‘We’re supposed to be stopping an assassin. You’d think we’d be able to wear armour’. 

 

Lucy sighs heavily, shaking her head, and mutters, ‘did you really pay no attention to Josephine’s briefings? Appearances matter here. Astra can’t save Empress Celene if we go and get ourselves thrown out’. 

 

Alex presses her mouth into a thin line. ‘I hate politics. I hate… pretending to be something I’m not’. 

 

‘You don’t have to’. Lucy leans against the wall beside her, folding her hands in front of her, and says, ‘we’ll be introduced as ourselves, serving as members of the Inquisition. You’ll be announced as a mercenary in Iron Bull’s Chargers. If it helps, they probably won’t expect any manners from you’. 

 

Alex scowls. ‘Nobles’. 

 

‘Tell me about it’. 

 

‘I don’t know how you turned out so decent’. 

 

‘I’m just special’. 

 

‘That’s one word for it’. Lucy smacks her lightly on the arm, and Alex grins. She glances up the stairs, and says, ‘what do you think is taking them so long?’

 

Lucy shrugs. ‘It sounded like Astra didn’t like her outfit’. She gives her a sly look. ‘Another thing you have in common’. 

 

Alex choses to ignore that, because she can feel the telltale heat rising to her cheeks. She hates that everyone else seems to know about her feelings,  _ except _ for the person she actually likes. ‘I’m gonna go check on them’. 

 

‘Don’t forget to knock first’. 

 

Alex flips her off before she hurries up the stairs, because Lucy just  _ had  _ to go and put thoughts of a naked Astra into her head, didn’t she?

 

‘Come on, sister’. Alex glances up as she steps onto the floor where they were changing, and Alura emerges from the room, garbed in a very similar outfit. Her coat is different, however, a high, popped collar that opens at her throat, and while the leather ends at her hips, the coat extend to just above her knees. ‘You’re being ridiculous’. 

 

‘I look ridiculous’. 

 

Alura rolls her eyes, and catches sight of Alex standing in the hallway. Her face lights up, and she says, ‘come, Alex. Help me convince my sister to leave her room before the Empress is assassinated’. 

 

Astra pokes her head around the door, scowling at her sister, and snaps, ‘that’s unfair, Alura’. 

 

Astra’s hair, which she usually wears braided, falls in thick curls over her shoulders, pulled loosely away from her face, and it softens her angular features in a way that makes Alex’s throat ache oddly. Her jaw juts forward in a pout, and she says, ‘Alex, please tell my sister that I look ridiculous’. 

 

Alex clears her throat, pushing away thoughts of running her fingers through Astra’s hair, and says, ‘well, I haven’t seen yet. Come on out’. 

 

Astra mumbles a string of elven curses under her breath, and steps out into the hallway. Alex blinks. Once, twice, and then stares. 

 

Astra is dressed in what looks like a fancy set of mage robes. A long coat brushes against the ankles of her knee high boots, heavy fabric that melds into leather at her waist, leather that curves around the sides and back of her long coat like the ones they’re wearing, but Alex thinks it looks so much better hugging Astra’s frame.

 

And there is more leather sewn into the shoulders of her robes, raising up like metal plates, smaller patches edged with gold extending down her arms like scales to end at her elbows, halting just where her long, black gloves begin. A gold sash loops around her waist, more for decoration than to tie her robes closed, and like all of their uniforms, the insignia on her chest is gold. 

 

With all the black and gold and white, with her eyes as grey and piercing as ever, and her tattoos standing out vividly against her skin, Astra looks like she’s stepped right off one of the ancient elven mosaics, and Alex knows she’s staring.

 

Astra huffs, drawing her shoulders up stiffly, and mutters, ‘see? Ridiculous’. 

 

Alex jerks, and says hastily, ‘no, no, you look beautiful!’

 

Colour rushes up into her cheeks as Astra stares at her, and the tips of her pointed ears seem to turn pink. ‘Oh. Well… thank you, Alex’. 

 

Alex grins, a stupid, goofy thing, her own cheeks burning, and says, ‘no problem’. 

 

‘Maker, you two are almost cringe worthy’. Lucy hooks her arm through Alura’s arm, and tugs her down the hallway. ‘So now that we know we all look good, can we go? Josephine’s getting anxious’. 

 

Astra sighs heavily, glancing down at herself and fiddling with the gold sash, and mutters, ‘I suppose we should’. 

 

Alura smiles, leaning down to kiss Lucy’s cheek, and Alex sniggers when her friend blushes. She shoots her a filthy look, before tugging Alura down the hallway, and Alex glances at Astra, rubbing at the back of her neck sheepishly, and offers her arm. ‘Shall we?’

 

Astra steps forward almost immediately to take her arm, and as they’re descending the stairs, she says softly, ‘you do too, you know’. 

 

Alex glances at her, trying to concentrate on what she’s saying rather than the solid press of her arm against her own, and says, ‘hmm?’

 

‘You look beautiful, Alex’. 

 

It’s a small miracle that she doesn’t trip down the stairs and take Astra with her. 

 

* * *

 

Alex has been to dozens of cities while working with Bull’s company, but she’s never been to a palace, and despite being accustomed to crowds, she can’t help but panic a little when she loses sight of Astra moments after the woman has greeted the Empress. Josephine and Leliana have warned them countless times about how dangerous this place is, even if everyone is dressed in more finery than she’s ever seen in her life, and speak with the kind of pompous civility that the Chargers love to make fun of around the campfire. 

 

She’s anxious, because she has no idea how she’s supposed to spot an assassin after Celene among this crowd, and now she’s worried about Astra getting a knife in the back when none of them are watching. Still, she knows Astra can handle herself, so she manages to keep a lid on her worry, even if it remains like an itch on her skin. 

 

It’s not until Alura sidles up to her that her anxiety really peaks. 

 

‘I can’t find Astra’. 

 

Alex looks at her over the top of her glass, blinking owlishly, and says, ‘what?’

 

Alura’s back is rigid, and in the soft light cast by the overhanging chandeliers, Alex can see the whites of her eyes. ‘Astra. She sees to have just… vanished’. 

 

Alex takes a long drink, mainly in an attempt to steady herself before she replies. ‘Leliana told her she needed to investigate Celene’s occult advisor, right? Maybe she’s doing that?’

 

If anything, that only seems to make Alura more anxious. ‘You think she would’ve gone alone?’

 

‘I…’ 

 

‘That was a stupid question. Of course she would’ve’. 

 

Alex blinks, noticing the slight pinch to Alura’s mouth, the rigid way she’s holding herself, and the faintly noticeable, uneven rhythm of her breathing. ‘Hey… are you okay?’

 

Alura nods sharply, her eyes moving over the nobles in a rapid way that makes Alex a bit dizzy to look at. ‘I am. There is just… I’ve never been in a city before, and there are a lot… a lot of people here’. 

 

Alex frowns, sets her glass down on the small table beside her, and reaches out to touch her arm. ‘Hey… how about we go find Lucy, okay? She can take you to sit out in the… vestibule, I think it’s called’. Alura gives her a blank look, and Alex glances around, hoping to spot Lucy, or even Lara among the crowd. ‘It’s got some gardens’. 

 

Alura blinks, her eyes focusing on her, and says, ‘I… okay’. 

 

To Alex’s relief, Lillian steps out from among the gathered nobles, Lucy close behind her, and she waves them over as subtly as she can. Alura seems to relax, just a little, when she sees Lucy, and reaches for her when she’s close enough. Lucy looks a little surprised, but takes her hand, and glances at Alex. ‘Everything okay?’

 

‘I think Alura’s getting a little bit claustrophobic’. 

 

Lucy glances up at Alura, a faint furrow creasing her brow, squeezes her hand gently, and says, ‘let’s go outside for a bit, okay?’

 

Alura nods jerkily, her knuckles whitening as she squeezes back, and Lucy mouths a thank you before tugging Alura away into the crowd. She lets out a relieved breath, and then snatches her glass from the table again. ‘Who would’ve thought a ball would be more stressful than the Fade, huh?’

 

Lillian gives her a faint smile, leaning against the table beside her, fiddling absently with the golden buttons on her formal robes, and murmurs, ‘at least there we knew what the enemy looked like’. 

 

Alex nods, glancing over the many masks, and says lowly, ‘what is it with the masks?’

 

Lillian shrugs slightly. ‘I believe it’s something to do with how they wear masks in every aspect of their lives. Josephine could tell you more. Or Vivienne. She’s an Orlesian mage, after all. And she was Celene’s adviser, before the current one’. 

 

‘The one Astra’s gone off investigating?’

 

Lillian nods, her mouth quirking slightly, and says, ‘she’s lucky Josephine didn’t see her climbing the lattice in the gardens’. 

 

‘What… just… in front of everyone?’ She groans, and runs her hand over her face. ‘So much for being subtle’. 

 

Lillian pats her arm absently, and says lightly, ‘not to worry. I’m sure most of them were far more interested in the fact that the Inquisitor’s sister was holding hands with Commander Lane’s daughter’. 

 

Alex blinks. ‘Really?’

 

‘A templar’s daughter and an elf? Whose sister sided with the mages?’ Lillian shakes her head, but she’s smiling. ‘Unlike Vivienne, I was never let outside my tower. But even I know that’s enough to cause a scandal’. 

 

Alex winces, just as she always does when she’s reminded of the mages’ plight. It still bothers her that Lillian has spent more time locked up in a tower than she herself has been alive. She hesitates, unsure if she should bring it up, and murmurs absently, ‘well, missing out on all this… politics hardly seems like a tragedy’. 

 

To her relief, Lillian laughs. ‘Quite’. She tilts her head thoughtfully. ‘Though I should get one of those masks for Lena. She’s always liked pretty things’. 

 

Alex grins, and says, ‘she seems to be doing better’. 

 

Lena barely interacted with anyone when she first arrived with Lillian all those weeks ago, and as an apprentice who never went through her Harrowing before the circles rebelled, most people treated her with wariness. Most mages were, when they first joined, but the added fact that she hadn’t officially completed her training didn’t help matters. Lena spent most of her time studying with Lillian, practising magic with the kind of hesitance that made Alex think that she was afraid of her own power, too. 

 

It wasn’t exactly surprising, considering how the Chantry condemns magic. 

 

Lillian’s smile is soft and affectionate, and Alex recalls that Lillian never smiled when she first joined the Inquisition, not unless she was talking to Lena. ‘She is. She’s… Kara’s friendship has been very good for her’. Her expression brightens, and she inclines her head towards the vestibule. ‘Speaking of good influences’. 

 

Alex turns her head, and lets out a sigh of relief when she sees Astra stepping back through the doors. There is an unfamiliar woman with her, and Astra pauses to converse with her in low tones before moving towards them. Alex can feel the tension leak out of her as the woman approaches, and she waits until she’s stepped up to join them until she says, ‘so, can I tell Alura no one tried to kill you while you were off investigating on your own?’

 

Astra has the decency to look a little sheepish. ‘Was it that obvious? I hoped to be back before anyone noticed’. 

 

‘She nearly had a panic attack’. 

 

Astra blinks, clearly alarmed, and Lillian reaches out to touch her arm. ‘Alex had Lucy take her outside. She’ll have calmed down by now’. 

 

‘Oh’. Astra deflates, and gives Alex an apologetic smile. ‘Thank you. I’m sorry if I worried you, too’. 

 

Alex sighs, and waves her hand. ‘It’s nothing. I know you can handle yourself’.

 

The corner of Astra’s mouth crooks, and she says, ‘I will need some backup, though. I met Celene’s occult advisor. Morrigan. She gave me a lead; a key on a Venatori that I think leads to the Servants’ quarters. Which is where the servants warned me away from’. She glances around at the nobles, and murmurs, ‘do you think my absence caused any disapproval? We should move soon’. 

 

Lillian shakes her head slightly. ‘You seem to be doing quite well’. 

 

‘You seem to be doing quite well’.

 

Astra smiles faintly, her gaze still roving over the nobles. ‘Hmm?’ 

 

Lillian reaches out to press a goblet into her hands, in an attempt to be subtle about trying to catch her attention. ‘The nobles. They seem quite charmed by you’. 

 

Astra tears her gaze away, and looks down into the goblet with relief. She takes a long sip, and when she lowers it again, Alex finds herself riveted by the red tinge to her lips. ‘Josephine and Leliana drilled me rigorously about the Great Game and how to play it. It’s simply a matter of wearing a mask’. 

 

Alex grins. ‘Who would’ve thought, huh? A Dalish mage, charming the Imperial Court?’ 

 

Astra turns to look at her, and something shifts in her expression. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth, and then seems to come to a decision. ‘Will you save me a dance, Alex?’ 

 

Alex almost chokes on nothing. 

 

* * *

 

‘You know’, Alex says lightly, pulling her dagger from the dead Venatori to wipe it on his cloak, ‘when you said we’d be trying to stop an assassination, I was picturing, oh, I don’t know,  _ an _ assassin’. She glances around at the dozen or so bodies, and shakes her head. ‘You know, like Lara, or Cole. Not an entire army’. 

 

‘That would be too easy, Alex’. Astra leans against her staff, watching Alura move around the bodies collecting her arrows, blowing a strand of hair from her face with an irritated sigh. ‘Though it does raise an important question. How were so many of them able to get in?’

 

‘It definitely makes the Duke a likely suspect’, Lucy crouches down to examine the dead emissary, frowning tightly, ‘the Elven Ambassador doesn’t seem like the type to ally herself with the Venatori’. She points at the dagger sticking out of the emissary’s chest, and adds, ‘and this has the crest of the Chalons family on the hilt’. 

 

Astra rubs at her face with another heavy sigh, and says, ‘well at least we were right about the servants quarters’. Her jaw tightens, and she says, ‘whoevers behind this will answer for the dead’. 

 

‘It’s not Briala’. Alura finishes returning her arrows to her quiver, and moves towards her sister. ‘Lara told us that majority of the elven servants here were the Ambassador's spies. Briala wouldn’t kill them like this’. 

 

Astra’s face darkens, and she shakes her head. ‘We should keep Lara away from these quarters’. 

 

Alex sheathes her daggers, and folds her arms over her chest. Their formal uniforms were surprisingly effective in combat, and she probably should’ve suspected that Josephine would find a tailor to give them extravagant but highly functional armour. ‘So, what now?’

 

Astra gestures up towards the roof where the Harlequin disappeared, and says, ‘we follow that one. Hopefully we’ll find some other lead’. 

 

Alura nods, and wanders off ahead. Lucy hurries after her, wearing that familiar look of exasperation and anxiety Lucy wears whenever Alura acts unlike most archers they know, and chargers ahead like she’s not supposed to stay at the back. She chuckles, the heaviness of what they found leaking away, and Astra glances at her. Alex gestures in explanation, and says, ‘it’s just funny. How you and Alura act… very differently to how most people would expect when it comes to fighting. It makes Lucy anxious’. 

 

Astra’s mouth twitches, a faint, tired thing, and murmurs, ‘and does it worry you?’

 

Alex lets her smile widen, hoping to cheer the woman up a little, and says, ‘nah. I’ve seen enough to know that you can handle yourself’. 

 

Astra blinks, and the tension around her eyes eases. She smiles, and steps up to bump their shoulders together. ‘Why thank you, Alex’. Her smile is soft and genuine, almost thankful, and she winks before she turns to follow her sister. 

 

A small victory, but one that despite all the high stakes tonight, feels just as important. 

 

* * *

 

Slipping back into the ballroom is surprisingly easy, and if any of the nobles noticed Astra’s absence, they don’t comment on it. Astra disappears into the crowd, and Alex tries not to feel unnerved by the way the masked faces turn to watch her. She tries not to feel like Astra is walking out into an entirely different kind of battlefield, and one where enemies are far less obvious. 

 

It doesn’t help that they’ve just discovered dozens of dead elves, and that someone managed to smuggle Venatori into the palace. 

 

‘What did you find?’

 

Alex nearly jumps out of her skin, her heart slamming against her ribs as she reflexively reaches for her daggers.  A hand grasps her wrist, cool, slim fingers, and Lara says, ‘it’s just me’. 

 

Alex grits her teeth, casting a quick glance around, but none of the nobles seem to have noticed her reaction. Though it is hard to tell, under those masks. She breathes out a shaky breath, lifting her drink to her lips to disguise her slip, and hisses, ‘Maker, Lara, seriously?’ 

 

Lara scoffs quietly. ‘You’re on edge. Did you find something?’

 

Alex turns to look at her, and nods slightly. ‘Venatori agents. A lot of them. It looks like the Duke’s turning to desperate measures to get the throne from his cousin’. 

 

Lara’s nose wrinkles, and she makes a quiet, disgusted sound. ‘Politics’. A moment later, her expression softens a little, and Lillian steps out of the crowd to stand beside her. The tension in Lara’s shoulders that Alex first noticed when they approached the palace eases, and Alex smiles. ‘Hello, Lily. Having fun?’

 

Lillian gestures over Alex’s shoulder, and says, ‘look. The Duchess is dancing with Astra’. 

 

Alex turns, rising onto her tiptoes in an attempt to look over people’s heads towards the dance floor, even though there’s no way she can without Lillian’s impressive height. ‘What does the Duchess want with her?’

 

Lillian shrugs, pressing her arm against Lara’s shoulder, like she wants to comfort her, and Alex wonders if Alura told her what they found. ‘Everyone wants something from her tonight’. She curls her fingers around Lara’s arm, and tugs slightly. Lara gives her a surprised look, but nods, and after nodding to Alex, turns to follow her out of the ballroom. 

 

Alex turns to watch Astra dance with the Duchess, folding her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall. She can hear the nobles around her murmuring with clear interest, like they’re shocked that Astra can dance at all, and it almost makes her smile. 

 

‘You’re pouting’. 

 

Alex glances at Lucy with frown. ‘What?’

 

Her friend smiles, swirling the liquid in her glass, and says, ‘you. You’re pouting because someone else is dancing with Astra’. 

 

Alex snatches the glass from her with a scowl, and snaps, ‘shut up’. 

 

Lucy raises her eyebrows. ‘She did ask you to dance, remember? That’s all just politics’. 

 

She grumbles, grimacing at the sharp taste to the alcohol, and mutters, ‘I know’. 

 

‘Then what? Didn’t you say you can’t dance anyway?’

 

Alex shifts uncomfortably, staring down into the blood red liquid, and mumbles, ‘I like her’. 

 

‘Oh, really? I never would’ve guessed’. Alex groans, and Lucy pats her arm, her grin softening slightly. ‘Come on, Alex. She likes you too’. 

 

Alex glances up at her, and her voice sounds stupidly hopeful when she says, ‘you really think so?’

 

Lucy gives her a bemused look. ‘Seriously? You guys flirt constantly and you’re asking me if she likes you? Maker, I thought Alura was useless’. 

 

She takes another generous gulp, and grumbles, ‘there’s a difference between flirting and actually… liking someone’ 

 

‘I mean, you’re not wrong there. But she definitely likes you’. 

 

Insecurity prickles in her gut. ‘But how do you know?’

 

Lucy sighs heavily, and gestures to Astra, still twirling on the dance floor with Florianne. ‘Okay, so I was raised among politics, right? I got pretty good at reading people. You know what I see when I look at them?’ She doesn’t wait for an answer, but plunges on anyway. ‘Astra’s been uncomfortable all night, but has hid it remarkably well. But she doesn’t look relaxed at all, even if she does dance really well’. She glances at her, and her smile is more genuine than mischievous. ‘But, when she’s with you, she’s relaxed. She likes being around you, Alex’. 

 

Alex can feel a faint flush in her cheeks, and she grumbles, shoving Lucy’s empty glass back into her hands. ‘Thanks. For you know. Not laughing at me’. 

 

‘Would I ever do such a thing?’

 

* * *

 

Alex loses sight of Astra for a while after the departs the dance floor, and it puts her on edge. She lingers by the food and drinks in the vestibule, where it’s quiet enough that she can focus on her own thoughts, and think over the things Lucy said, half listening to the nobles gossiping about how the peace talks aren’t going well. 

 

She wonders what would happen if they failed. If the civil war would continue, if the Orlesians would continue to act like it was the most important thing in the Thedas, as if they aren’t facing a foe that wants to destroy the whole world. 

 

So it takes her a moment to process that the figure lingering beside her isn’t just another masked noble, but Astra. She blinks, turning her head to look at her, and smiles in greeting. ‘Hey. Here for the refreshments?’ 

 

Astra shakes her head, a faint, barely noticeable twitch, and Alex takes in the sharp, rigid set to her jaw, and concern bubbles in her stomach. She nudges at her slightly, and whispers, ‘hey… are you okay?’

 

The muscles in the woman’s throat work, and she murmurs, ‘Floriane gave me a lead. She suggested that I should investigate the Royal Wing’. 

 

‘And?’

 

Astra lets out a slow breath, and reaches out to brush her fingers over the back of her hand. ‘Come with me’.

 

Alex swallows, nerves spiking unexpectedly in her gut, and whispers, ‘are you… are you sure? Won’t you be noticed?’ 

 

Astra scoffs, a tight, dry sound, and there is something strangely urgent about the look in her eyes. ‘We’ve been sneaking off to kill people all night, Alex. A moment of your time is worth a few raised eyebrows’. 

 

Alex has to stop herself from grinning like an idiot. ‘You do know how to flatter a girl’. 

 

* * *

 

In a secluded corner in an empty wing of the palace, Astra draws her behind a heavy curtain and onto a small balcony. The gold adornments on their uniforms gleam silver under the moon, and Astra doesn’t let go of her waist. Alex swallows, because Astra has never been this forward before, and she rests her hands hesitantly on the woman’s upper arms. ‘Hey’, she says quietly, trying to catch the woman’s eye, ‘are you okay?’ 

 

Astra swallows, the muscles in her throat constricting tightly, and she breathes out slowly. ‘I… I am. I’m simply…’, she sighs, and reaches up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, almost absently. Her fingertips linger at the hinge of her jaw, and she murmurs, ‘all those people look at me and see something I’m not. They all want something from me, and I’ve had to act… a certain way all night’. She sighs heavily again, and murmurs, ‘I simply… I wanted a moment to myself’. 

 

Alex blinks. She rests her hands on Astra’s waist, and says softly, ‘but you asked me to come with you’. 

 

Astra nods slowly. She looks at her, and her grey eyes are softer than Alex has ever seen them. ‘I like how you look at me. I… there has been so much depending on my actions, and so many people expecting things of me since the explosion at the Conclave. But you… you look at me like you see me, not a figure head’. 

 

Alex bites her lip slightly, and murmurs, ‘Astra, I… of course I see you’. 

 

Astra huffs a laugh, a strained, humourless sound. ‘You say that like it’s a given. But sometimes I don’t even see myself when I look in the mirror’. 

 

Alex frowns, reaching up to touch the woman’s cheek, and murmurs, ‘you’re still you, Astra’. 

 

‘Am I? The woman who set out to spy on the Conclave would not recognise me now, I think’. She shudders, and leans down to press their foreheads together. ‘All I wanted was to keep my clan safe. To keep my sister and my niece away from danger. And yet… I sent for them. I brought them into the Inquisition, because I wanted them by my side’. 

 

Alex shifts her grip, wrapping her arms more firmly around Astra’s waist, and says, ‘I know it might not seem like it, but they’re probably safer with the Inquisition than they are anywhere else. Skyhold is a fortress, Astra’. 

 

‘And yet I let my sister come with us. She’s stepped into a city perhaps once in her life, and I brought her to a place where assassinations are the national pastime’. 

 

‘She’s your sister, Astra. Of course she followed you’. Alex tries to keep her voice light, and she chuckles. ‘Besides, she’s not exactly helpless’. 

 

Astra sighs, but some of the tension seems to leak out of her shoulders. ‘You are right, of course’. 

 

‘Astra… what’s this really about?’

 

Astra swallows. ‘I… so much depends on me, Alex. On the choices I make. And I am afraid that I will make the wrong ones’. 

 

And there it is. That heaviness that settles on Astra’s brow, that strange look that hollows out her eyes and makes her look older than she really is. It’s an almost startling change from the woman Alex first met, that strange elf who acted more like a warrior than a mage, who seemed to take on her role as the Herald with barely concealed reluctance. 

 

And then they went to Redcliffe to get the mages for the Breach, and somewhere between Alexis’ rantings about Astra being a mistake, and his failed spell, Astra changed. 

 

Sometimes Alex wonders if the flash of light did more than blind them. 

 

She wonders why, when they stumbled across the graveyard of their fears in the fade, with the Nightmare demon looming at their backs, why Astra’s tombstone simply said  _ Redcliffe.  _

 

‘Astra, you’ve made all the right decisions so far. You allied with the mages, and kept them from Coryphytits plans’. That earns her a smile, faint and fleeting, a chuckle that ruffles her hair slightly. ‘You stopped the demon army, spared the Wardens, which, considering the whole thing with the Blight, was probably the better option. What’s preventing one assassination compared to that?’

 

Astra shifts closer, and presses her face against Alex’s shoulder. She sighs heavily, and Alex wonders if the woman can feel her heart pounding. ‘You are remarkably good at cheering me up’. 

 

‘Hey, I know what it’s like to get stuck in your own head’. She hesitantly lifts her hand to stoke Astra’s hair, and murmurs, ‘Astra… you’re doing really well’. 

 

‘You think so?’ 

 

‘I know so’. 

 

Astra’s huffs another laugh. ‘You sound like my niece’. 

 

‘Well, she’s pretty great. Kinda scary sometimes, but great’. 

 

Astra pulls back to look at her, her eyebrows raised in surprise, and Alex is glad to see that that haunted look has left her face. ‘Scary?’ 

 

Alex shrugs a shoulder. ‘Well she’s like you. A mage who insists on hitting people with her staff, and… somehow knows a lot about daggers? She’s like… a jack of all trades that happens to be good at  _ everything _ ’. She purses her lips, and then grins. ‘Though she’s also the nicest person I’ve ever met’. 

 

Astra smiles, gazing at her with an expression that is somehow just as soft as it is intense, and strokes her thumb over her cheek. ‘Thank you, Alex. I feel…’ her mouth twitches, ‘capable of stopping an assassin, now’. 

 

Alex grins. ‘Glad to be of service’. She pauses, unwilling to part from this small moment that consists of Astra’s arms and that soft look in her eyes, but they do have an empire to save. ‘Shall we go, then?’

 

Astra nods, swiping her thumb over her cheek one last time, before she drops her hand, and steps away. Together, they turn back towards the ballroom, and Alex says, ‘you know it’s most likely a trap’. 

 

‘Obviously’. 

 

* * *

 

 

Later, when it’s all over, when Astra has exposed the Duchess and saved the Empress, when speeches have been made and the wine has been flowing well into the night, Astra slips away from the spotlight, and Alex, after Alura elbows her hard enough in the ribs to leave a bruise, decides to follow her. 

 

She finds Astra on one of the main balconies leading off the ballroom, leaning on the wide banister, and the woman’s shoulders tense beneath her formal robes. ‘Hey’, Alex says softly, moving forwards into the cool night, ‘it’s just me’. 

 

Astra slumps a little, sighing heavily, and when Alex rests her elbows on the railing beside her, the elven woman leans their shoulders together. ‘If it had been anyone else, I think I might just have leapt off this balcony’. 

 

Alex huffs a laugh. ‘Still as dramatic as ever’. 

 

Astra purses her lips, resting her head in her hand, and she looks exhausted. ‘I’ve spent the entire night surrounded by some of the most over dramatic people in Thedas. And if they’re are more dramatic people, I don’t ever want to meet them’. 

 

Alex frowns slightly, nudging her gently. ‘Hey, we stopped the assassination. Orlais is saved. You even managed to get Briala appointed Marquise of the Dales. That should help your people’. 

 

‘I… I know’. 

 

Alex’s frown deepens. ‘Then what’s wrong?’

 

Astra sighs heavily. She tilts her head, and rests it against Alex’s shoulder. ‘I suppose I… I can barely believe that nothing went wrong’.

 

Alex rests her head atop Astra’s, and murmurs, ‘do you truly have such little faith in yourself?’

 

‘I was not made for this life, Alex’. Astra’s head is heavy on her shoulder, and Alex wraps her arm around the woman’s shoulder, running her thumb back and forth over the heavy fabric. ‘It’s a miracle I haven’t made things worse than they were’. She’s silent for a moment, and Alex closes her eyes, listening to the music floating out to join them, to the laughter of intoxicated nobles, and despite the chaos of the evening, it’s almost peaceful. Then Astra takes a deep breath, and says, ‘you’ve never asked me why my worst fear was Redcliffe’. 

 

Alex is silent for a moment, thinking about that moment, when they realised that they were looking at tombstones with their names written on them. It shouldn’t have been as unnerving as it was, really, because they were in the Fade, in the Nightmare demon’s territory, and it wasn’t as if they weren’t all thinking about how they could die in that place. 

 

But then they saw the inscriptions written under their names, and the worst thing about the whole experience was that her worst fear was exposed for all the others to see. 

 

‘I suppose I didn’t… I didn’t want you to feel like you had to tell me what yours meant, just because mine was obvious’. 

 

_ Disappointing people.  _

 

Doesn’t really get much more self explanatory than that. 

 

Astra reaches out to touch the back of her hand, and murmurs, ‘you could never be a disappointment, Alex’. 

 

Alex huffs a laugh. ‘And I’m pretty sure you could never fail at what you do, but you’ve seemed pretty convinced you will’. 

 

Astra is silent again, and Alex tries not to think about how nice it feels to have Astra leaning against her like this. Then the woman says, ‘that spell that Alexis cast. In Redcliffe. The one that seemed to do nothing. It did… it did a lot more than nothing’. 

 

Alex waits, reaching out with her free hand to take Astra’s where it lies against the railing, and for all her impressive strength, feels strangely small against her. ‘The amulet he wielded, and the spell… I’m not sure exactly what he intended to do, but when Dorian interrupted it, it sent us both a year into the future. Not to a possible future, but what had passed in our absence’. She lifts her head to look at her then, and she looks so haunted that Alex feels her heart ache. ‘I’m afraid of Redcliffe because I saw what happens if I fail’. 

 

‘Astra…’ Alex doesn’t know what to say. From her perspective, there’d been a moment of sharp panic when Alexis cast his spell, and then a moment of bemusement and relief, of triumph, when nothing happened. She swallows, and says, ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that’. 

 

Astra looks at her for a moment, her jaw working, and says suddenly, ‘I watched you die for me’. 

 

Alex stares at her. In the clear night, with the moon shining down on them and the candle light spilling out from the ballroom, Astra’s eyes are overbright, and the muscles in her jaw are tense. ‘I… Astra…’ 

 

‘You and Lillian were dying. Red Lyrium. The others… I don’t know what had happened to them. I assume… I assume they’d already died. As for Alura and Kara…’ she makes a choked sound, and shakes her head. ‘They would’ve been with my clan. The world had ended. They would’ve…’ 

 

‘Is that why you sent for them? When you came back?’

 

Astra nods, squeezing her eyes shut, and murmurs, ‘at least… at least if they were with me, I wouldn’t be… I’d know if they were alright’. She opens her eyes again, and reaches out to brush the backs of her long fingers gently over Alex’s cheek. ‘You… you brought me some time, along with Lillian, and Leliana, so that… so that Dorian and I could come back, and fix everything’. 

 

Alex reaches up to cover Astra’s hand with her own, and turns her head to kiss the inside of her palm softly. ‘It didn’t happen, Astra. That future… it can’t happen anymore’. 

 

‘But if I fail -’ 

 

‘You won’t fail’. Alex cups the woman’s cheek with her other hand, and repeats herself fiercely. ‘You  _ won’t _ . All you’ve done is succeed and save lives’. 

 

‘But -’ 

 

‘You’re not alone in this, you know’. Alex strokes her thumb back and forth over Astra’s smooth cheek, tracing the curling lines of her tattoos, and when she brushes her fingers over the tip of her pointed ear, the woman shivers. ‘You’ve got Alura, and Lara and Lillian, and Lucy and J’onn, and they all followed you here. They’d follow you anywhere’. She bites her lip, and shifts a little closer. ‘I’d follow you anywhere’. 

 

Something in Astra’s face changes, and the smile that curves her lips is as welcoming as it is sincere. She lifts her hand to cradle her face, and murmurs, ‘you really do know how to cheer me up’. 

 

There is the sound of glass smashing, uproarious laughter, and Lara hurries out of the ballroom onto the balcony, grinning from ear to ear, spots them, and pronounces, ‘I’m having the best time fucking with these nobles’. 

 

Alex laughs. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Lara smile so widely before. ‘What’d you do?’

 

Lara waggles her eyebrows, winks, steps back into the shadows, and vanishes. Astra chuckles, and leans in to kiss Alex’s cheek. Alex feels herself flush, all up her neck, and mumbles, ‘what was that for?’

 

Astra’s eyes are sparkling, and this time, it’s not from tears. She drops her hand to Alex’s waist, and says, ‘you did promise me a dance, you know’. 

 

Alex casts a quick glance towards the shadows in the doorway, darkened by contrast to the warm light spilling out onto the balcony, and mutters, ‘did she actually leave?’

 

Astra follows her gaze, and lifts her hand to flick her fingers. A gust of cold air washes over the balcony, and Lara swears violently. Astra laughs as Alex presses her face against her shoulder and groans, and says, ‘go dance with Lillian, Lara’. 

 

Lara appears just as suddenly as she disappeared, her teeth gleaming in the light, the tips of her ears twinkling with frost, and winks again. ‘I’ll leave you lovebirds to it’. 

 

Astra watches her leave with a smile, and then drops another kiss to Alex’s forehead. Alex can feel her cheeks burning. ‘Well? Will you dance with me?’ 

 

Alex shifts nervously, butterflies leaping in her stomach, and her voice is higher than usual when she says, ‘I… I really don’t know anything about dancing, you know? I’ve never done it before, and I probably have two left feet and -’ 

 

Astra kisses her. 

 

Alex makes a surprised sound in her throat, before she slides her hands into Astra’s hair and kisses her back with all the pent up tension that’s crackled between them since they first met, kisses her with their bodies pressed together, and music floating out to curl around them, and maybe she does know how to dance after all. 

 

Astra’s hands slide up the back of her jacket, pulling her closer, and Alex brushes her thumb over tip of the woman’s pointed ear again, just to hear the groan muffled against her mouth. She grins, and pulls back to say, ‘sensitive ears, huh?’

 

Astra smiles softly, smoothing her thumb back and forth over her cheekbone, and murmurs, ‘does that surprise you?’

 

‘Nothing about you really surprises me anymore’. 

 

Astra raises her eyebrows. ‘Oh?’

 

‘Well, everything about you is surprising, really. So if I expect nothing, I’m less likely to be surprised’. 

 

‘Does it work?’ 

 

‘Considering what just happened? Absolutely not’. Alex leans in again, and Astra meets her with a soft kiss that still sends a pleasant shiver down her spine. Astra’s hands sweep down her back to settle at her waist again, squeezing lightly, and Alex breaks away with heat in her cheeks again. ‘If you carry on like that you’re definitely going to end up scandalising the court’. 

 

Astra smiles, leaning their foreheads together, and murmurs, ‘I’d do a lot more for you, Alex’. 

 

Alex huffs a laugh, her cheeks aching from how much she’s smiling, and leans forward to rest her head against Astra’s shoulder. Astra’s arms loop more securely around her, and Alex rests her hands on the woman’s upper arms, feeling the muscles under the leather adorning her heavy robes. As they sway in time music rising and falling in the background, and Astra’s heart beating steadily against her own, she thinks this might be the most peaceful moment she’s experienced since the Conclave. 

 

She smiles against Astra’s shoulder, and laughs softly. ‘Huh’. 

 

‘We’re kinda dancing’. 

 

Astra chuckles quietly in her ear, and murmurs, ‘I suppose we are’. 

 

‘Hey, Astra? You’re not going to fail’. 

 

Astra’s arms tighten around her, and she turns her head to kiss her cheek. ‘After this? How could I?'

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> and she didn't fail and everything was nice and amazing and they're in love i love them
> 
> hope you enjoyed that whether you're a fan of the game or not!! :)
> 
> also!!!! the art by my friend @supergaysupercat is based on the 'the Lovers' tarot because in the game, each character has a tarot card :)


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